Kylo Ren x Reader
by faunling
Summary: An experimental fic where you are in charge of your own destiny while interacting the notorious Kylo Ren.
1. Page 1

In this story, your choices can change your outcome. You are in charge of your own fate.

First, you must pick a side.

Light. (Skip ahead to page 5)  
Dark. (Continue to page 2)


	2. Page 2

Like most troopers of the First Order, you were never exactly given a name. All of your life, you were known as RD4390. Your identity was always unimportant. What was important, however, was what you could provide for the First Order, and you were constantly reminded of that for as far back as you can remember - which isn't far at all. In fact, you have no recollection of your life prior to becoming a Stormtrooper. Secretly, you've tried to think back as to why and how, but your memory isn't vast enough to reach those depths of the past, and you know questioning anything could mean certain death. You were bred for conformity and upholding your duties, so what little you have now is all you've known and likely all you'll ever know.

After what seemed like an eternity of grueling training, you were finally being assigned to your first real mission. You felt a rush of excitement when your heard your identification number being called by the captain. This is what you were born to do, you recalled. This was your purpose and now was the time to prove your worth to the First Order. You were sure to stand extra straight and follow protocol with meticulous precision. But as soon as you stepped foot on land, your body begin to shiver with a different rush.

Fear. The one thing you were disciplined against feeling was now creeping up your spine as you followed the troopers in front of you. Something somehow felt off. You fought with yourself to calm down, but every fiber of your being protested against you.

Suddenly you were pulled out of your head by the sound of agonized screams. Lasers exploded all around you, and you hurried to your senses to fire back. The Resistance were everywhere, and you gathered all strength and focus to survive. Those you had trained with fell to the ground with a thud around you, but there was no time to stop and mourn. You had to continue. You had to keep running.

Out of the corner of your vision was Kylo Ren, violently swinging his lightsaber towards a member of the Resistance. It was tempting to stare, but you were able to control yourself and force your attention back to the situation at hand. It was in that moment you noticed an enemy rise from their hiding place behind a heap of scrap metal, suddenly rising an on the move towards Kylo Ren. You knew this was your chance to prove your training.

The Resistance fighter came with a running start, positioning his weapon for the kill. Your heart began to race as they drew dangerously close. Holding your breath, you aimed and squeezed the trigger. Just as Kylo noticed the threat, you had shot him down. He turned abruptly, watching the body fall then directing his stare back up to you. Through the mask you were unable to read any sort of expression, but you hoped he was impressed.

You then gathered yourself to his side to further protect him. You felt you could accomplish anything after that first kill. Anything standing in his way you rid of as you returned back with the other troops, still flanking Kylo Ren's side.

As you went back aboard, Kylo Ren's deep voice cut through your thoughts.

"RD4390."

You stood still, silent.

"I'd like to speak to you privately at once."

Your breath seemed caught in your throat, but shakily you managed to respond.

"Yes, sir."

His tone did not sound pleased, but then again, it must be hard to express gratitude with that mask and voice muffling your speaking. You summoned all remaining energy to being optimistic and followed his cloaked silhouette to his quarters.

* * *

Kylo Ren's footsteps were powerful and rhythmic against the ground, the sound echoing metallically against the walls. Even your armored footsteps seemed even louder in the deafening silence. You noticed how he walked swiftly with his hands clasped behind his back and you began to wonder if he always held this posture or if he were especially displeased. You swallowed the worried lump in your throat and kept your head quiet as you were trained to do.

After a series of sharp turns, you entered Kylo Ren's quarters. The second the door fully closed, he spun to face you.

"RD4390, would you care to explain to me what happened out there?"

 _There is no room for fear_ , you reminded yourself. _Fear makes you weak._

You respectfully state that you were only acting on your orders.

"I could have handled it myself." He growled, turning away again.

You begin to explain that you were only attempting to protect him when he interrupts.

"Remove your helmet, RD4390."

Stunned, you do not reply.

"That's an order."

Hesitantly, you remove your mask and place it beside your feet.

The silence grows heavier. He can now see your eyes, but you cannot see his.

"You're afraid."

You know you shouldn't be, but instincts argued otherwise.

"Look at me." He commands.

You raise your eyes to find him slowly removing his mask. No one you've ever spoken to has seen his face before, and you feel a spike of heat in your blood.  
Immediately you are taken back by what you see. You cannot avert your gaze from his eyes, intense and beautiful with sorrow. He seems to stare right back into you. You could feel him in your head, reading you.

 **You are attracted to him. (Page 3.)**

 **You feel safe around him. (Page 4.)**

 **You are repulsed by him. (Page 8.)**


	3. Page 3

"Why are you surprised?"

"I've always expected that one who wears a mask has a reason to hide behind it. But you have none that I can see."

He raises his eyebrows slightly.

"I sense that you're..." he pauses, circling around you. "…aroused right now."

You fight the blush growing hot in your cheeks as you watch his inviting lips inch closer.

"Why is that?" he asks, seeming genuinely curious although you know he could simply peer into your head and see all of the shameful images that refuse to leave your mind's eye.

Your words tremble in your throat. "I am drawn to you. I find you very attractive." You close your eyes, knowing he could erase you from existence at any moment. "Forgive me."

The sexual frustration built beneath you two grows in intensity. How long had it been since he's felt relief for these urges? When had you ever felt these pleasures? You couldn't answer either of these questions.

"Don't be afraid. I feel it too." His voice rummages through every nerve and vein in your needing body.

He gathers fistfuls of your hair desperately as he presses his mouth against yours roughly enough for you see stars.

His lips migrate across your face to nibble on your ear, leaving a cool burning sensation in his wake. He trails to your neck and your collarbones as your body presses into his.

Suddenly his hands find a grip around your throat as he pulls you to the ground beneath him. He pins you down by your wrists and pants heavily.

Kylo has all of you under his control, and you willingly give into him. His rough kisses mark down your body, stopping now and again to play with your breasts and sensitive ribs until he reaches the warmth between your trembling thighs. Teasingly, he runs his tongue along the opening of your dripping wet cunt. You groan out his name in longing.

He haltingly continues, slowly and deeply until you reach out to tug at his hair. He grabs your hands and slams them back down beneath him. This was your warning.

Kylo lowers his body onto yours and slowly eases inside of you. He moans softly, pushing deeper inside you. This sensation was foreign to both of you, and for a moment your head was silenced and filled only with him and his soft sounds of pleasure. Gradually he increased in pace and force, fucking you harder and harder with each thrust.

You claw your nails down his back in ecstasy, and to counter he wraps his grip around your throat and chokes you. You fight at his grip while he fucks you deeper, forcing himself all the way inside of you and ramming his thick cock inside your tightness.

He soon releases you, leaving you gasping for air. Kylo then presses his open mouth against yours and pulls your hips up to meet his. While holding onto your hips, he flips you over and begins to fuck you roughly from behind. Your arms and legs begin to shake and you struggle to keep your back arched while he pounds into you. As you begin to lose balance, he pulls out and you feel the warmth of his cum cover your ass and back.

* * *

Within that week, orders from Kylo Ren state that you are to accompany him on his personal shuttle. You can only imagine what is to happen next.


	4. Page 4

His eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "You aren't afraid now. What happened?"

There was relief now, but you were just as perplexed as to why as he was. "I'm not sure."

You feel his eyes burning against your skin, scanning you over.

"Do you feel it too?" he asks quietly. All aggression is drained from his eyes and voice.

You nod, and there is a silent exchange of words held between the two of you. Wordless conversations spill out in the open air that draws in closer and closer and he makes his way towards you. You've both known loneliness. You can smell it on his lips.

"You are unlike the others." He begins. "I am both disappointed in your training and relieved to have found you."

"I apologize –"

"Don't."

Slowly and a bit awkwardly, he wraps his arms around you. You realize he likely hasn't held anyone in a very long time, but then again, neither have you. Although a bit strange, he holds you tight and you find yourself reassured by the sound of his heartbeat. The two of you hold in this embrace for quite some time, savoring the intimate moment so rare in both of your lives.

He pulls away briefly, an expression of horror on his face.

You reassure him that he isn't weak, expressing that you want it just as badly. You are grateful that this is happening in the first place, despite the gnawing shame that accompanies it.

He shakes his head. The guilt and desire were tearing him apart too fiercely. You were a distraction. You could easily be rid of, and yet he reacted with tenderness. It was embedded in both of us to avoid these situations, and here we are.

"It's important to not feel alone."

He looks at you like each moment out of your embrace was a stab in the chest. For a shining moment, he has found comfort and nourishment in the sight of you. You open your arms for him and he openly rushes in, cupping your face in his hands and kissing you.

His kisses are slow and deliberate. All of your senses come to life under his touch. You readily throw your arms around him and follow each passionate movement of his mouth against yours.

For some reason, it almost felt familiar. You traced each contour of his body with your hands like an old map from memory. Of all the things you did not remember about yourself and your past, it was as though you remembered him. Maybe not in this life, but in another. Every point in your life somehow lead to this collision of mouths and bodies in ancient fire.

* * *

Kylo Ren promotes you and from then on out, you accompany him in all of his travels. You gain respect and reputation as Kylo's favorite and continuously use it to your advantage.


	5. Page 5

As a child, you had dreamed of this day to come. As part of the Resistance, General Leia had just given you special instructions for your first classified mission. You respectfully accepted and thanked her, hoping she did not pick up on your childish excitement. Adventure beckoned and grew ever closer, and a strange mixture of joy and absolute terror made waves in your belly.

As thrilled as you were, you were set on a path and followed it without many distractions. You knew exactly where to go and what to do. What you didn't plan on, however, was spotting troops of the First Order through the cover of the foliage. You kept your eyes on them, avoiding their senses at all costs.

Watching silently, you crouched and crawled away, hoping to escape unseen. You moved velvet-footed under the protection of shadows provided by the thick canopy of trees looming overhead. Confident in your abilities, you picked up the pace and rushed through darkness.

As you ventured deeper through the dense woodland, a faint crunching of feet followed you. You paused, listening. They grew louder. You jolted to your feet and raced through the greenery as quickly and silently as your body allowed. The footsteps continued to follow you, rapidly picking up pace. Knowing it would be better to fight rather than flee, you readied your weapon and spun to meet your stalker. You froze in place when you recognized that it was Kylo Ren.

His lightsaber crackled and reflected red in his mask. As you gathered the strength to strike, he extended a hand and held you in place with the force. Your body felt paralyzed. He approached you without sound and encircled you.

"A Resistance fighter." He mumbled to himself.

You could only follow him with your eyes.

"What is it that you're hiding?"

You remained silent. He continued to circle you until he met you face to face.

"Oh, we have ways of making you talk." He gently squeezed your throat with the force. "I suggest you give in now to make it easier on yourself."

You only stared angrily in response. You were far too determined to give in.

"Very well."

* * *

You wake up with your arms and legs strapped in place. You tug on them in vain and grunt with frustration. Before you kneels Kylo Ren. Although you cannot see his face, you just have feeling he is smirking with pride at your capture.

"You're very resilient. I admire that. But it's also foolish for you to think that I can't have whatever I want."

There is a long pause. He rises from his stooped position and slowly removes his helmet. You are terrified as to what you might see, but as soon as his face is revealed, your breath catches in your throat. Your mind abruptly halts and all thoughts are focused on what is before you.

 **You are attracted to him. (Go to page 6.)**

 **You attempt to talk him out of the Dark Side. (Go to page 7.)**

 **You refuse to speak. (Go to page 8.)**


	6. Page 6

Taking long strides, he approaches you carefully, his face hovering near yours. He is surprisingly handsome, breathtaking even, but you fight to avert your eyes.

"I sense that you're..." he pauses, the warmth of his breath dangerously close to your jaw. "…aroused right now."

You fight the blush growing hot in your face as you watch his inviting lips inch closer.

"Why is that?" he asks, seeming genuinely curious although you know he could simply peer into your head and see all of the shameful images that refuse to leave your mind's eye.

"You are…very attractive." The words taste bitter and stick to your tongue but there is such a relief in admitting it.

He raises his eyebrows slightly, then returns to his stoic resting face. You wonder how often he was told that, if at all. You wonder when the last time he even saw a girl was.

"You want to kiss me right now."

He's in your head. You try to shake the thoughts out, shake him out, but it's of no use. He's watching every passing thought that makes your body tremble.

Your eyes give in and look up at him, now staring intently at you with eyes burning with desire. He seems flustered as you notice the hints of red forming in his cheeks.

As you open your mouth to speak, he cups your face in his hands and kisses you intensely.

Roughly, he releases you, eyes still glowing. "Is this what you want?" He pants.

You whisper a soft "yes", and he pulls your face in closer.

"Then this is how you'll talk."

You struggle against your restraints as he begins to undo your pants and pull them away. He takes the fingertip of his glove between his teeth and tugs them off, tossing them carelessly to the side. His lips drew ever closer to your neck as you found his hands between your thighs.

He was shaking. You wonder if this was his first time ever doing something like this. You can't imagine him having time for sexual or even romantic relations in all of his heavy training.

His hand migrated slowly up your inner thigh until he reached your panties. His hand brushed over the fabric delicately.

"Tell me now." Kylo breathed.

You shake your head stubbornly, partially because of your loyalty to the Resistance and partially because you wanted him to continue.

Kylo then slipped a finger under the fabric of your panties and you couldn't help but bite your lip with anticipation. He rubbed the warm opening of your cunt haltingly.

"Please." You begged, shifting your hips impatiently.

"Not until you tell me what you were doing out there."

"You know I won't."

"Then don't expect me to go any further."

"You know you want this as badly as I do."

He fell silent. You both knew it was the truth. The heat had built up far too long.

Aggressively, he tore away the last barrier between the two of you and pressed his lips against your neck. His hand moved up to rub your clit as his teeth grazed your skin. You attempted to stifle a moan, but it escaped you effortlessly.

He ripped off the rest of your clothing and stared at your body in wonder for a few moments until his hands found every inch of you. No part went untouched, both with his hands and his mouth. He took special attention to your nipples, flicking them with the tip of his tongue and gently sucking your breasts. His teeth bit playfully at your ribs and trailed down lower to your thighs.

Kylo soon lowered himself to undo the straps binding your legs and adjusted you for a better position. He grabbed your legs and wrapped them around his body, pushing the tip of his cock inside you. You gasped with pleasure and tugged at your restraints again, just longing to feel his skin.

He pushed into you all the way, releasing a low moan as he began to fuck you hard.

"Kylo!" you moaned. You continued to moan into his open mouth, melting into the taste and feel of his tongue. He grabs your hips roughly and pushes and pulls you against him, rocking against your body. His thick cock continuously rams inside of you until your entire being feels aflame with pleasure. This was a new experience for the both of you, and the intensity rose with each movement.

You suddenly feel a growing warmth in your cunt as he moans loudly, burying his head in the crook of your neck and biting down as he orgasms powerfully. He collapses onto you, breathing heavily and still throbbing inside of you.

* * *

You savor the moment, the calm after it all, but you have a feeling that you may be staying here for a while with a new position to fulfill.


	7. Page 7

You cannot help but note the glow in his eyes. These are eyes you have seen before in someone else.

"You are Han Solo's son."

"That means nothing to me." Kylo replies shortly, almost disinterested.

"No, that does mean something." You argue. "There is light in you."

He shakes his head. "And it is nothing in comparison to the power of the Dark Side."

There is a long pause. You can feel him flipping through the pages in your head, hoping to find a weakness and turn it against you.

"I know you are torn." You interrupt, driving his attention towards himself rather than to you.

"You know nothing of me."

"But I would like to."

He falls silent, his eyes turning towards you. There is so much fear hollowing out his eyes. The fear of falling apart, the fear of failure to meet expectations, the fear of intimacy. You can see that it haunts him. His youth died long ago, and what is left of the light flickers dimly in his dark irises. But somewhere you also can see the faintest glimmer of hope and of love. Traces of it creeps into your chest, ascending and illuminating. The desire to know him and to keep knowing him aches behind your lungs.

Neither of you can deny that there is a strange attraction between the two of you. The light that you radiate draws him like moth to flame, though he fights it and denies it fiercely.

You offer gently to rekindle the flames and the distance between your kiss shortens into nothingness as he presses his lips tenderly against yours. His touch induces both guilt and pleasure, for the risk of falling in love with him was great, yet the reward seemed so promising and sweet. You melt into his kiss and he holds you there for what seemed like minutes passing in comforting silence until he turns away and cradles his head in his hands.

"Don't be afraid." You reassure him. "I feel it too."

He shakes his head. The draw of the darkness pulls him back, seducing him, and thus the tearing apart drives him into madness. As he was taught, you were a distraction. You were the enemy. You should be dead by now, yet he spared you. You should hate him, but you reacted towards him with tenderness.

For hours the two of you talk. Carefully you word your sentences to coax him into opening up. He protests, as expected, but you manage to speak to a deeper part of him untouched by anyone ever before. It is with much effort and patience that you pry him open to understand what he truly is. Though he argues that there is nothing left in him, you urge to bring out the best of what remains.

* * *

Many years have passed since you first met Kylo Ren. Your patience and healing allowed peace to be restored, and you now both have a child together. You have not only pleased the Resistance and returned General Leia her son, but you have found the one person in the entire galaxy in which your heart belongs to. Upon reflecting, you realize that you crashed upon the shores of his life quite violently, and he did not tread peacefully onto yours either. But it is because of this that you find comfort in him. For both of you have altered each other's reality and revolutionized each other's worlds.


	8. Page 8

Probably not a good choice.

 _ **You died.**_


End file.
